hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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