i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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