If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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