I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
