The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
