You really coming over, don't trick.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
