Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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