I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
