I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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