we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
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You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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