how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
