I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
