My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
