It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
