Ketchup is God's man juice
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
