I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
