I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
