you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
