Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
