i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
