So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize