At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
