he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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