Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
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any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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