Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
