woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
