Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.

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(772): View more from Florida

i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.

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(810): View more from Michigan

She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.

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(562): View more from California

Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics

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(914): View more from New York

I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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(904): View more from Florida

My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

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(845): View more from New York

I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?

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