you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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