Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
