I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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