12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
