oh good, I think they're gone
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?