It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
