you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
