is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
we're so committed to being not committed
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