eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
