Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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