My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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