Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
