so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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