we have officially lost it.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
