I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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