Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
