***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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