I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
