when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
