It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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