4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
