At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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