help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
