I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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