do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
where are my eyebrows?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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