I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I want a musical about memes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
