ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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