just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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