So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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