3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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