Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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