pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I currently don't understand fingers.
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