I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
